Labour Leadership – how does it feel?

A bloody lifetime.

All those tedious meetings with wetsock councillors, local activists, and associated crackpots.

All those blancmange judgings.

All those requests for help cheerfully passed onto the relative who works in your office to send a pat response, with occasionally, getting some that need some attention, a hidden gem of an EXAMPLE to fight for, a Cause to Back.

And the press releases, the puppy-SpAds, the casual chats with ministers and shadow-ministers.

The hours on the train, the juggling of 2 homes and 2 lives – yes it’s a good earner, but actually a pain in the ass when you don’t remember the sandwich toaster only exists in your constituency house.

20 years or more, going through it all – the quarrels and pointed-elbows, the petty insults, the time spent avoiding this one or that one, or circling another.

But Ed quit (about time), and here comes your chance.

Maybe I’ll get some fight from one of the others – Andy, or Stella, it doesn’t matter. I sense my time is here. I’ve bloody earned it. I’ve fought the causes, built the profile, said the RIGHT BLOODY THINGS.

And this fucking Jerry fella chips his fucking stupid hat into the ring.

Jeesus. We used to chat once in a while – he seemed alright. Didn’t behave properly (what was he thinking), all worthy and all that. But never the bastard party leader, no way.


It’s MY time, I’m smarter than Osborne, I’ve even had talks with Rupert. Polly Toynbee has my mobile. Who are these people and where is their right?

I know I had some worries when Ed B lost – I think we all felt that was a bit weird, a freak storm, he was popular, and so smart (usually, altho’ he did always get flu on budget day); I don’t know why people didn’t see it.

What do these people want – we are their party, I have worked for them all this time – I know what’s possible, I know the BBC Director General.

What do I do now?

Andy says it’s like being a football manager who has a run of bad games, and this new bloke comes in and suddenly you can’t stop winning. I don’t know.

Is there a way back, are the polls wrong? What do these people want FFS? just because they don’t understand how parliament works, I get the blame. Harriet had that vote worked out. Is it that vote? Or the other one? We did that for YOU, you silly people. You think they’ll let some cardigan wearing worthy into the hot-seat? Boris will have ’em flogged.


And you think it’s good when he challenges the govt on everything – how would you like the graveyard shift at the house listening to some over-promoted wonk drivel on. That’s not how it works anymore.

I will keep trying. I will.

Booked on WATO next week.


1 thought on “Labour Leadership – how does it feel?

  1. Great narrative voice. It’s dripping with the bitterness, confusion and self-entitlement that has infused this campaign and has become generally indicative of rather too many of the Party’s old guard.

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